Our support in your time of need doesn’t end after the service. Below you’ll find guidance from our own staff, along with trusted organizations that specialize in different aspects of grief.
How to Support a Grieving Friend or Family Member
By Henry L. Postell, II, Funeral Director in Charge, Postell’s Mortuary
In more than three decades of serving Orlando families, I’ve watched thousands of people show up for someone who’s grieving — some in ways that genuinely helped, others in ways that, however well-intentioned, missed the mark. Here’s what I’ve seen actually make a difference.
Skip “let me know if you need anything.” It’s the most common offer of support — and the hardest one for a grieving person to accept. Deciding what you need, then asking for it, takes energy most people don’t have in the first weeks after a loss. Offer something specific instead: “I’m bringing dinner Thursday, what does your family like?” or “I’m mowing your lawn this weekend” removes the burden of having to ask.
Say their name. Grieving families often worry that friends and coworkers will avoid mentioning the person who died, as if avoiding the name will avoid the pain. It won’t — the person is already on their mind. Saying “I remember how much your mom loved…” tells them the loss is seen, not sidestepped.
Show up past the first two weeks. Casseroles and cards tend to arrive in the first week, then stop. Grief doesn’t run on that schedule — the second month is often harder than the first, once the initial support fades and everyone else has moved on. A text a month later (“thinking of you today”) can matter more than anything sent during the funeral week.
Let grief look different than you expect. There’s no fixed order or timeline to grief. Someone might seem “fine” one day and be unable to get out of bed the next. None of this is wrong — resist the urge to tell someone how they should be feeling by now.
Know when to suggest extra support. If someone is unable to function months after a loss, talks about not wanting to live, or withdraws completely from everyone around them, it may be time to gently suggest a grief counselor or support group — not instead of your support, but alongside it.
What to Do in the First 48 Hours After a Death: A Practical Checklist
From the team at Postell’s Mortuary
Grief support articles usually focus on feelings — and those matter. But in the first hours after a death, most families need something more immediate: a clear list of what actually has to happen, and in what order. This is what we walk families through every day.
- Get a legal pronouncement of death. If death occurs at home under hospice care, call the hospice nurse. If it happens unexpectedly at home with no hospice involved, call 911. If it happens in a hospital or care facility, staff will handle this step for you.
- Call Postell’s Mortuary. We’re reachable 24 hours a day at (407) 295-3857, and we’ll arrange transportation of your loved one right away. You don’t need any other details settled to make this call.
- Notify close family. A phone call, not a text, to the people who need to hear it directly — spouse, children, siblings, parents. Everyone else can wait a day.
- Locate key documents, when you’re able. The will, any pre-need or life insurance paperwork, military discharge papers (DD-214) if the deceased was a veteran, and their Social Security number. If a pre-need contract exists with Postell’s, we already have it on file.
- Decide on burial or cremation, and start planning the service. If pre-need arrangements were already made, most of this is already decided. If not, your funeral director will walk you through the options.
- Let the funeral home handle death certificates and notifications. Postell’s orders certified copies of the death certificate on your behalf (most families need 10–15 copies) and reports the death to the Social Security Administration directly.
- Secure the home, and take care of what can’t wait. Pets, mail, houseplants, prescriptions that need to stop.
What can wait. Estate matters, closing accounts, canceling subscriptions, and dividing belongings are not first-48-hours tasks. An estate attorney, not a checklist, is the right resource once you’re ready for that stage.
For more on what Social Security requires after a death, see the Social Security Administration’s official guidance.
Additional Resources
- GriefShare — a friendly, caring group of people who will walk alongside you through one of life’s most difficult experiences
- What’s Your Grief? — educational material addressing bereavement topics
- Grieving Children — support focused on young people experiencing loss
- Alliance of Hope — specializing in suicide loss support
If your family is planning a service or would simply like to talk, Postell’s Mortuary is available 24 hours a day at (407) 295-3857.